Dear Diary...
Ahhh...a diary. A place to record all my private thoughts and wishes, and not have any prying eyes have access to them. And boy do I need a place to do so - my life feels like a comedy show written by an otaku high on acid, ecstasy and helium. No one could claim that I - Takagawa Emiko - was normal.
Take a moment - just imagine what that would be like. It boggles the mind - but that's literally what my life is like. At least my family is - no one has a crazy family like mine.
I know what you're thinking! Everyone thinks their family is weird, but hold my peach tea! My father and mother are both businesspeople in the entertainment industry. My idiot father is a Style Consultant for a major fashion brand and my perverted mother is the Chief Director for one of the top television networks in Tokyo - Genki Warai Television (Gen Wa for short).
This, of course, means my family is incredibly wealthy, and with my sister, Saori, and I being the only children, we should be pretty happy. So one would think, but trust me - glamorous (or even remotely normal) we ain't. My idiot father and perverted mother are separated, although they remain as mostly good friends.
My father now lives with his husband, Randy. Why a gay guy married a lady and had kids with her, I'll never comprehend, but when I was around 6 years old, he decided his closet couldn't contain him any longer and ran off with RanRan, leaving us without a father. Mind you, he was often more girly than Mother, but still - he could make us laugh and smile, and that was lost when he left. We still see him occasionally, but I can't completely forgive him for creating a mess and leaving it. That is - in short - an idiot move.
As for why I refer to my mother as a pervert, well, she's another case altogether, a basket case that is. Now, how on Earth did she end up marrying a gay guy, I'll never know, but I get a feeling it was a marriage of convenience, because my mom is a diehard lesbian now. Nothing wrong with that, I mean - I confess some of the girls at my school are absurdly hawt. It's more that a few years after my father left, my mother took herself a lover, someone who submitted to her every sexual whim, dressed in provocative skimpy maid outfits all the time and started to call her 'My Queen' constantly. I could probably even accept all these antics being paraded out in front of me, except this 'wench' of hers is none other than my beloved older sister, Saori. Yeah, twisted! And get this - my mom even went so far as to MARRY Saori when she was only 13 years old. What's crazier is - 5 years later, they're still a happy couple. Yuck...I mean....SOMEONE has to tell them 'keeping it in the family' was not about banging your immediate relatives. Mom doesn't listen when I tell her this, she just thinks I'm jealous. Um, trust me lady, I'm not!
So, my father's an idiot, my mother's a pervert, my sister's a submissive incestuous maid and I'm pretty sure my cat is a narcoleptic. Seriously, am I the ONLY normal one here? It's an embarrassment being a member of the Takagawa family. One day, I shall be Watanabe Emiko, which is far better - but more on that later.
Sigh...anyways, enough rambling about that. Now that you know about my insane, twisted family, I can begin to talk about my favourite topic - me.
Ah, allow me to formally introduce myself properly. My name is Takagawa Emiko. I'm 16 years old and I attend Meiwa Koko, or Meiwa High School. Of course, being as I am the type to be the best of the best, I am the Student Body President and the Club President of the Special Honorary Organisation of True Admirers Club. It is an exclusive club for female students with a particular common interest, which I will explain at a later time, and NOT NOW!
As the darling of the school, adored by all and feared by those who dare speak down to me, I work hard to maintain my pristine image. After all, it wouldn't do for a Takagawa to be seen as anything short of perfect whilst in the public eye. This may seem hypocritical, considering what I said earlier about my family, but trust me - the public sees my whole family as the pinnacle of perfection in whatever we do. I cannot afford to be the one that tarnishes the family's rep, even if in reality, I'm the only sane and normal one.
So... I'm probably the busiest girl at the school, but I don't mind. After all, being number one comes with its own perks! I have my own little group of 'helpers' who follow me around, a student body that oohs and aahs whenever I enter the school. As such, I never have to do any of the classroom chores which everyone else has to do, as 'Our beautiful student council president shouldn't be seen dirtying her hands with such mundane tasks!' Oh my, who am I to deny my loyal subjects such requests?
But most importantly, during my duties, I'm allowed to make visits to Meiwa Shougakusei (Meiwa Elementary School), which is located right next door to our school. The two schools are connected by a short walk over, but most students are generally not allowed to go next door, except during special events and with special permission.
Naturally, I DO have the permission, and I use it quite often - for my president duties - and to see him, the love of my life.
Watanabe Kyosuke.
